Thursday, December 30, 2010

Bye Bye 2010

2010

An year of changes and lots of predictions for me. I changed my job from SAP Labs to SAP India and became a consultant. My marriage got fixed with my long time sweetheart. A year too good on my cards, all the platform were set for my future en-devours and just today late evening I got blessed with a sweet lovely cute Nephew. From today I will be called मामा  (Maternal Uncle) by him :P.

I become active on Facebook and won many contests and many goodies esp from Kingfisher, Bacardi and Smirnoff. My pictures are looked upon by many on Flickr now. Another milestone covered in terms of photography. I also started 'Bangalore Photo Run Enthusiasts'- BaP RE!- where I initiated three successful events for a Photowalk. 
I lost some good 8-9Kgs of weight by attending two gyms. I developed a good hobby of taking breakfast early morning (before 10 AM) daily which helped in giving me a good balanced start for the day. Addition of fruits to my refrigerator was also welcomed by me.

The travel to the whole of South India reached deeper, The year was bang-on with Pondicherry and traveled to Kodai and Ooty. From the beaches to Goa to the Hills of Western ghats. 
This was the year of scams and Common wealth. The prices of Petrol and onions, the increased awareness of vested sports in CWG or Asians, From Obama's Visit to the Historical Rout of Nitish Kumar in Bihar,  Leh's cloud burst to the Karnataka's CM foolishness, Leaks and Dabangg, Rupee symbol to the debate of greatest cricketer, indeed a year of News and Leaks.

Here are the lists of want went good happenchance or planned:


Best movie: Ishqiya,

Love Sex Aur Dhokha, The Japanese Wife, Udaan, and Antardwand
Inception



Best Songs (Music directors/Lyricist and Singers): Lucky Ali -Hairat (Anjaana Anjaani.)
Gulzar - Dil to Bachha hai ji (Ishqiya)

Best Destination: KodaiKanal
Best Experience: Munzerabaad Off-Roading, Sakleshpur
Best Ride:  Lovedale on my TB 350cc 350Km ride from Bangalore


Best Food: @Hyderabadi Biryani, Airport Road.
                  @Egg Factory,St marks rd

Best Place to Eat: @Hyderabadi Biryani, Airport Road, Bangalore.
                           @Sanjha Chulha Tandoori Pepper Chicken, Calcutta
                           Kachori @ Calcutta and Chikpet, Bangalore

Best Drink: Costa Coffee,
Best Trip: Kodaikanal and Unusual Goa @Goveia Resort, Anjuna
Best Party: Sean Kingston Concert @ Hard Rock Cafe' - It was all sposored by Bacardi and we were also brave and dabangg to snatch the autographed Towel by the Pop-star.
Best Book: Highway on my plate, John Grisham- Theodore Boone: Kid Lawyer
Best Dare: Rock climbing and Off roading
Best Ads: Cadbury's Dairy milk (Eloping GF and Bus stop proposal) , Ceat tyres, Madhya Pradesh State    
                Tourism Development Corporation Ltd
Best Buy: LG LCD
Best TV find: Tarak Mehta ka Oolta chasma - a homely comedy, LA Ink
Best Google Search: Adobe CS4 portable
Best portal: Facebook and Flipkart
Best News: India completing 100 medals in CWG, Nitish landslide win in Bihar

Best Moments:  My Nephew and End of my Bachelor's days

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Highway on My Plate Book -Review

One of my favorite show on NDTV Good Times, and most celebrated by the people all over India for its unique concept of bringing Highway Dhabas and Cuisine inside our Homes.The hosts Rocky and Mayur finally went ahead and penned down their experiences in a Book- '"Highway on my plate "- The Indian guide to roadside eating' by Random house India. This odd 320 page book is having a perfect lonely planet style cover and a perfect thickness. The inside pages are crisp but with little bigger font size. The contents are well laid out in alphabetical order (Indian States) and you can dive inside the book as per your Highways.

What is great:

  1. A lovely and decent cover.
  2. Nice detailing on the eateries and well indexed.
  3. Rocky and Mayur have done a tremendous job to jot down all the places they have covered on the show. The ratings are great and give a detailed review of the places.
  4. Something on the side is really cool and adds another dimension to the Roadside Dhabas.
  5. What they have covered in this book is really unique and special, No magazine has done it so far. Bringing the real India for its taste and deep culture. Even Lonely Planet India must have missed some of their best pick when compared to this HOMP (Paper).
  6. This is for a foodie who believes in appetite fulfilling the real way.
  7. Value for Money. Rs 224 @ Flipkart.com 


What could have been great:

  1. While ratings have either Rocky or Mayur's verdict but not Both of them. Sometimes its really confusing why Mayur's verdict is required for a restaurant which is famous for its Non -veg delicacy.
  2. The book is definitely missing the wit and humor of Rocky and Mayur's HOMP, esp the free things at the end of the price list for each Roadside eateries.
  3. Some more pictures.
  4. Some of the states like Bihar are shown only in pictures, while Goa has only one featured. Even states like Chattisgarh, Orissa, Karnataka and West bengal have very few listings. Surprisingly Ladakh/Leh has no mention in this Road trip book for foodies. Wish they have added more locations and Dhabas in the book or are they looking for HOMP part II :)
  5. Last but not the least, Where are the Food Quotes ?????
The book is a collector's item and a must for the fan of HOMP. 

Overall Rating 


Sunday, December 26, 2010

Tees Mindless Khans

A compilation of one of the worst performers from Bollywood, topped with worst writer ever you can witness.
When you dream of all worst actors (Katrina Kaif, Salman Khan and Akshay Kumar/Khanna), it becomes a nightmare. However there is a hope of making it at least watchable when you have a good Director. With Tees Maar Khan (Read Tees 30 Mindless Khans), we don't have a director but a Female who makes other dance.
Nothing can go right in this mindless satire of "After the Fox", the writer was sitting under a Pine-apple tree and the Apple didn't fall on his head. Instead our head was spinned for all the rotten jokes and an ending which was disastrous.

All from Bollywood gave their worst. I expected this movie to be a bore but not this bore.
Roadies twin heroes were a carcass from the past, while the whole village folks-men were full of idiopathic performances . Katrina played herself - a DUMBO. While all other cast including the main leads were Unnecessary. In fact the movie was unnecessary. Farah Khan the so called director cannot direct Tees Maar Khan, "Hence Proved!!"

Shiela ki jawani is better on MTV than to watch in the theater. One of the worst lyrics and worst dances, the choreography was expected to be atleast good but it failed at that front too. An utter Bakwaas.

At last, to conclude, You can have a better time in Toilet for two hrs reading 'Saras Salil' than to watch this shit, full of stinks.


A Headache.

PS: Still you expect a Star ??

Monday, December 6, 2010

A Compulsory Time Wig - Indigo

Recently I flew on Indigo Airlines. This airline was actually ontime and they gave a great emphasis on being at par with their promise.
I like their non-typical Ad :-"ON POINT! ON TIME!"
Click for Video



The flight was airborne in Delhi Foggy air right on time at 6:30 scheduled morning and landed as per time. Their air-hostesses were also keen on automatically noting the time of each move. A well done branding.

One thing I noticed that all the Air hostesses were looking the same, my curious eye was looking for the curious case. Suddenly I realized that all the crew were Females and they were carrying the same hair cut - coquettish bob.
As a part of this new makeover, the airline has  given them a chic blue tunic and a stylish cap along with a WIG.

This new change didn't only gave them an uniform smart look but also worked on their motto of saving time.
As they, now  do not need to spend time doing up your hair and can tuck it in the wig and get going, and the crew is also happy that their hair remains manageable during the course of the flight. Over the long run the Hair is not damaged by styling gel or other chemical products.
Apart from this, all the women wore bright red lipsticks and nail color. They were looking very intimidating and Dolli-sh. Everyone was wearing a badge --"Miss IndiGo", as if they ran a catwalk and all came as winner.

However I enjoyed my two-way flight with Indigo. Esp for its Time keeping promise.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Guzaa-rash

Sanjay Leela Bhansali should give more emotions into the scripts and the actors than the frames. This director is focussed mainly on the art of the frames and their colors. Always inspired from several films (Black was inspired from The miracle worker, HDDCS from Woh Saat Din, Sawariyan from White nights ), This movie lifts several scenes and the major part of plot of the nurse and a lawyer friend from 'The Sea Inside' , the tragic accident due to magical rivalry from 'The Prestige' to Hritik Roshan's look from 'My Left foot'.

The movie opened very poorly showing Aishwarya removing curtains with a overdone fake makeup of such a deep red lip-sticks that made her a misfit and a poor judgement. Bhansali once a good storyteller, needs a real script justifying the characters and the end of the story. Aishwarya's performance was pity and you may wonder that it's from the same director who gave her a fantastic look and lift in HDDCS. She failed to show the emotions and still has an influx of portraying a beauty. Her moans were as fake as it could be, will surely give Junior AB some nightmare.

There were so many tears and emotional scenes (on screen) but none of them will give single goose bump or a wet eyelid. The movie missed the connection with audiences. The reason for quadriplegic to die looks so kiddish the very next second he cracks a witty line and smiles. The whole plot is like a half baked cake done with some great icing. The courtroom and courtroom was indigestible and added more weakness.
Shernaz patel and Suheil Seth were quite ok in their little roles. However, much hyped junior actors Aditya Roy Kapoor and Monikangana Dutta failed to deliver any expression. The blunt look on their face and an unnecessary casting took most of the film's precious moments. 

While the lyricist Vibhu Puri has a shade of Gulzar, with the lines of Sau Gram Zindagi and A.M. Turaz's Udi is worth listening. Another song "roses are red" at the funeral was well sung and composed. Although Bhansali didnot do a great music compostion like the way he did in the previous films. The song 'Sau gram Zindagi' has a shade of yesteryears.

Coming to Hritik- the actor was good enough for intense emotions and failed miserably on the subtle performances.All the magic were unreal and full of dances. The Director was out of bounds while showing the magic in dance/art form and it was too straight from the dream world. The patchy flashback took the content from the scripts. Kudos to Hritik for choosing the challenging role, but who wouldn't?

For Art direction and 2 songs.

Monday, November 22, 2010

One weekend at Calcutta

I arrived late, just after the clock changed the date at Netaji Subhas chandra Bose Airport; an old but structured airport. My Friend Sourav was waiting outside it just near the 24hrs coffee shop. The Chaos and Corruption which is very in sight in Bangalore took a back seat here, atleast you get yourself a piece of your own mind. Calcutta Chromosomes are tad slow and goes back in time. We stayed in CCD till the last drop of our coffee, which was regulated twice by an extra dose of coffee each time. Calcutta definitely love their coffee light and sweet.

Soon we were on our way to City (शहर), as per a sign board just outside Airport. The Roads were deserted around 1 AM. I could see sleeping lives and halted taxi all the way to home. There were policemen minding their own business at usual check posts. I was wondering nobody stopped us, Yet!.

Back in Bangalore you will be stopped atleast 3-4 times to check for your breath. Bangalore police keeps their vigil not to save you or some pedestrian but to earn some extra bucks. At least a Common man can identify the differences in the attitude of the Govt officials (I am not saying that West bengal is less or more corrupt, this is with respect to day to day life observation).
The night was made longer with more discussions and a late night Dinner. Needless to say that the spicy egg curry with Plain paratha was awesome. It reminded me of a funny word "DIM", which means egg in Bangla. and its more funny when a true son of the soul says it. The flight was tiring and I retired late.

A call from a Dentist at early hours to treat you from the Stomach upset can really be soothing. My another Dentist friend Goldie, eager to meet me, had cancelled all his sheduled appontments and was really anxious about my whereabouts. Soon after the prescription, I felt better and the system was cleansed. I had Chola-Bhatura in my breakfast and left to Alipur-Behala. The Dental clinic was made into a small eatery with a provision of drinks.

We went downstairs to a grill-locked wine shop and got some beer. I took He-Man 9000 beer and Palone - Carlsberg. Palone is a strong beer from the Carlsberg stable with 7.5% alc v/v. Goldie chose Tuborg beer (Again a brand from Carlsberg stable). Okocim Palone is dark in color with intense taste due to a unique process of malt fire-burning. A process that requires craftsmanship and precision from the brewer. As a result a beer has been created with a slightly sweet taste at first sip and a nice bitter follow through. While He-Man9000 is really a strong beer with taste like that of Iron (blood).It is brewed by Yuksom Breweries with Malt Liquor style in Sikkim, India.This beer is from the same brewery which brew Dansberg Premium Lager Beer, a brand owned by Bollywood lovable villain  Danny Denzongpa.

After the short stint with new beers, we had the awaited Calcutta style Mutton biryani and Rezala Chicken along with Reshmi Kebabs and Chaps. The food was mouth watering and I must confess, after Delhi, Calcutta and Hyderabad are the two Metropolitan cities which can boast a non-vegetarian platter. 
Calcutta or Kolkata biryani evolved from the Lucknow style (Awadh) in 1856. The Meat also include a large peeled Potato as a distinct feature of the Calcutta biryani along with an boiled egg. Also Calcutta biriyani is much lighter on masala and more subtle , unlike it's Hyderabadi counterpart and the rice is boiled with a lot of Saffron and added fragrance. 
Chap (ribs slow cooked on a tawa) and Rezala (meat in a thin yogurt and cardamom gravy) is a perfect combination with Biryani. Rezala has not so thick white gravy with little bengali style sweetness which comes by adding a dash of sugar and a nice blend of poppy seeds(Posto dana) and cashew. 


Soon after the food was licked-finished, we headed out for a strong head massage. Funny it was that we carried Carlsbergs from the shop next door Saloon. we discussed some nonsense stuffs and soon was hungry. The Famous Calcutta chat house was calling us.We had our Kesar-Kulfi.


I reached Sourav's place in the evening and was soon heading towards Underground Disc (HHI). It was already 9PM. so instead, we headed to Sanjha Chulha for the Tandoori Pepper Chicken and a pint of classic Kinglisher. The Chicken was juicy and spicy, licked beyond the bone.

The island bar with a wide bar platform of Underground was dark gloomy and Expensive. The crowd was niche but the DJ was sick. The dance floor was only for couples so Sourav and me took our turn with Bhabhi one by one. Heineken was the cheapest beer at the price tag of Rs470/- pint exclusive of taxes.
I must admit that Kolkatan Girls are far bolder than their counterparts :). The DJ played many songs umpteen times but we were in the groove enjoying our own Dharmendra style dances. 
And the best part:
2AM: we came out of the Disc and headed towards the Azad-Hind Dhaba on Ballygunge Circular Road. South Kolkata’s posh Ballygunge neighbourhood wakes up in the night after the pubs and discs are closed. All the night crowd with their minis and Mazda come here and stand in a very long queue to get their seats. We were lucky enough to get the seat on the upper floor AC-restaurant.



Azad Hind has been one of the hot spots for late-night diners for a while now. It opened in the late 70s and has many well-loved items, including the Crispy baby corn fried. Sanjay Dutt, Hema Malini, etc are regulars here along with famous painter M.F. Husain who would drop by for tea and had even gifted the eatery a small work of his "An Original M.F Hussain Gaj Gamini" painting that the master himself had done on the wall. After the heartily Midnight Meal-The Night was over and a day in Calcutta.


The Date was changed before I could register.




more pics : http://www.flickr.com/photos/saish746/sets/72157625161850177/

Monday, November 15, 2010

A huge burden of a Huge Opportunity Cost


Prashant Batar, An unknown face and a name till 9th November 2010. Suddenly after 9th Nov he is termed as the biggest loser in the history of Indian Reality television. I certainly Don't agree to it, neither i agree to accept that he was being greedy and an idiot.

We all saw Kaun Banega Crorepati and witnessed Prashant losing Rs 97 Lakhs while attempting for the last question for Rs 5 Crore ($ 1 Million ). He reached 1 crore with an ease and was first contestant in this season to reach 3L20T with the help of any lifeline. All the 12 questions were answered with confident and ease prior to a sensible thought. 


When he won Rs 1 Crore, the same people were cheering and clapping for him. There was even a small celebration amidst which Mr. Amitabh Bachchan himself told that you are brilliant and "Bahut achhi parwarish ki hai aapne"(You have raised him in a very well and intelligent manner) to his parents.So if the same set of people are branding him as a fool and idiot are actually fooling themselves. He took the risk and it was not paid.




He did not lose but won Rs 3,20000. It was not greed but to excel like everyone who come to participate in KBC.

If he is a failure because he could reach the final answer, then Bhagat Singh, Rani Laxmi Bai, Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose all were losers.As they were either caught/murdered or died before they reached their goal of making India Independent.
It's not the end who justifies a winner, its the process. Nobody in season 4 (KBC) has ever attempted the question for Rs 5 Crore. It is the greed, which has forced many to withdraw well before reaching there. Certainly it was not the greed for mere green papers.

The very impossible question was not a loss but the opportunity cost for Prashant.



Thursday, November 4, 2010

बम और दिवाली और हम

It was the day before Diwali and we had our list ready. The list was full of our explosive dreams and tomorrow would be the night for making them come true. We sat behind the Rajdoot and went to the market. Toady the streets were narrow, as fireworks vendors are occupying most of the space.
We were very specific and we were brand loyal "Cock Brand Sri Kaliswari Fire Works, Sivakasi". This loyalty is proving costly today as they are the leading fireworks and they don't come cheap.
For 300 Rs we used to get a Sack full of Cracker Load and we never bother about the prices . Sparkles (फुलझरी) were like matchsticks.
Our next task was to put all the clay oil lamp in water to absorb more water and give more light. and the second task was to put all the crackers in Sunlight to make them go real bang.

Plans were made on how to tie the Naagin Bomb to the tail of a stray dog (नागिन बम, सुतली बम), if not atleast we used to blast them as near as possible so that the Dog should really be scared. Another plan was to impress the colony girls that we were real men and can blast crackers in our bare hands, be it a Atom Bomb itself (आलू बम, हाइड्रोजन बम, एटम बम). Saanp and Chakri (सांप and चकरी) were for girls.

Now it was to find a bottle launcher, suitable for our Rocket targets (राकेट बम). The special angle was planned to send the Rocket to a foe's house or to the Girl's house who would dare us. Our plans were secret. We were also expert of setting the time bombs, by using incense sticks and tying bomb to it with the perfect timings. We were never wrong. Our battlefield with empty buckets, Drums, Hollow Well, tanks were ready. The zone was marked with our targets. No warnings were made, we were for kill--Silent kill.


Sweets were Damned, The feast was for victory. Laced with Matchsticks and Candles we went all the way.

List:
  • सुतली बम ,
  • मिरचाई बम,
  • साईरान बम,
  • राकेट बम,
  • राकेट ,
  • आलू बम,
  • हाइड्रोजन बम,
  • एटम बम,
  • पैराशूट बम,
  • दीवाल बम,
  • हवा बम,
  • बुल्लेट बम,
  • मिर्ची बम,
  • अनार,
  • अनार बम,
  • चकरी,
  • फुस्फुसिया बम,
  • रंगीन फुलझरी,
  • फुलझरी,
  • चुटपुटिया बम,
  • टार्च बम,
  • पेन्सिल बम,
  • लड़ी बम,
  • सतरंगा बम,
  • नागिन बम,
  • सांप
  • बिजली  बम
  • मेर्री गो राउंड 
  • फूँक  बम 
  • साईरन चकरी

    Friday, October 22, 2010

    A Slain History- RakhtCharitra - I

    Ok, So this is not "Company" nor "Sarkar", Leave "Satya" behind. 
    Going by the India's talented director, This is not his masterpiece. and I cannot take any excuses. Ram Gopal Varma's vengeance is filled with gore and blood, too excessive that Varma has lost the grip of portraying the lines of expression.

    The film opens very slow trying to have a grip on the subject with the prelude of blood-saga. The use of wide -angle rotating shots were very well taken, RGV only missed the zoomed in expressions this time. The capture of blood rising and high speed camera rolling against the Gandhi gave an impact and a great opening. RakhtCharitra is based on true story but not real, there is a mix of everything. The films loses the thrill and the background score is too loud. Except the title background, which actually keeps you in flow with the sickle tool.

    The story has nothing to deliver new , but RGV tackled it very well with the real casts and the action sequences will take you to your neighborhood. Definitely not a masterpiece but a well narrated story.  This time he made use of the same stable and the same breed of unseen baddies, real to the core. The masala is high towards the red chilly.There are scenes which will make you grit your teeth, tighten your muscle and flinch your eyes, but all are in few scenes. RGV has a great subtle style of direction. 

    Vivek Oberoi slipped into the skin of slayer very easily and was captured well too. His entry was definitely slow but the camera marked its perfection, a new kind of Bollywood has ever seen. Satrughan sinha added a distintive  flavor of perfectism and his character in the late second half had some great performances. The example of Ramanyana was used with proper misunderstanding throughout the movie. Abhimanyu singh was brilliant again as the real demon and the way his eyes spilled character is sure to catch an attention. Varma was really good enough  to capture the eyes. Then there was the beginning of Suriya at the end of the movie, which actually stopped many in disbelief and ecstasy from leaving the theater. 

    The movie has nothing other than the overflow of blood,  No romance , no comedy, no tragedy, no emotional dialogue, no good looking female or male, no celebration, no set , no location and just one unnecessary silliest song. RGV is only proving himself as a rebel to Bollywood. and again against women. Yes, there is nothing for the fairer sex as said by RGV during the relaese of the movie that "this movie is not for women, they can sit at home" and "definitely not for people who liked 'Kabhie Khushi Kabhie Gham'".

    The only pure dislike was Varma itself with his Voiceover, He should sit on the director chair calling the shots.
    so the other half of review will be released on Nov 19th, hold your guns till then (Rise of Ravi is complete and lets wait for the Fall   err or the Rise of Suri???????????).........

    Two for great Title and the Rebel RGV.

    Friday, October 15, 2010

    AA-Krash Burning


    (Straight copy of Mississippi Burning)

    When you go wrong, you go overboard – seems like the mantra of once good directors in Bollywood. Similar to Prakash Jha, Priyadarshan who did deliver films like KalaPani, Virasat and Gardish; delivered only promise and a great miss through Aakrosh. This film has everything, right from topics like Honor Killing, Caste fights, Feudal lords, Masala, Item Songs, over-the-top action and one man army style heroism. The lack of real and packed storyline will only disappoint you.

    The failure starts with camera(s) and frames. You will notice a different treatment of scenes throughout the films. Looks like that the songs and action sequences are shot by two different directors. The opening was shaky and thrilling but lacked the camera control and overall focus of the story. Priyadarshan seems to lose its touch after the continuous churning of brainless comedy. After Hera-Pheri, we are still waiting a great movie from the master. Unnecessary casting of Bipasha Basu and Sameera Reddy (just one sick item number) proves that the producers wanted some sexism in form of these two dusky ladies. They forget that Bipasha basu minus makeup is still worse because she never acted and never can. She cannot even deliver the rustic approach required by the script. Unjustifiable songs are another miss and a total wastage of quite a long saga.

    The exaggerated action sequences were not at all required. They just helped in killing the mood further. The art director along with the designer was wasted to show Bipasha in a skimpy outfit in past and a rustic, down to earth typical wife wrapped in sari as well. The story has many flaws like, just after the wet rainy song, its shown that the village never had rain since 2 years and farmers are facing draught like situation. There was no Dalit political leader, One CBI officer in the team, small village but a very large police force, Beating media persons in public without any fear, sub-inspector is shown carrying pistols and weapons and equipped with many government cars and gypsy’s …… there are many to recall.

    Though inspired from Ranbir-sena, Shool-sena is shown without its counterpart – Naxalites. The Jehanabad shootings and killings was copied to the silver screen but lacked the horror and emotions. The marketing of this movie was done primarily on recent Khap killings or Honor killings, but the story was loosely inspired from Mississippi burning.
    When I saw the duo of Akshay khanna and Ajay Devgan, where one is calm and the other is hard boiled hot blooded, suddelnly Gene Hackman and William Defoe striked my mind. The Bhatt again copied and got inspired from 1988 hollywood movie. The “Ku Klux Klan” was modified into Shool-sena after a dirty cocktail of Ranbir-Sena of Bihar. It’s a shame on the legendry Priyadarshan. The whole sequence of Bipasha exposing her husband, the fight between the two leads, then an agreement to work together, private part's castration – Nasbandi, to the fight in the saloon with a razor, the sentences and the verdicts are straight lifted from this American crime drama.  There was even a scene loosely copied from classic Mirch-Masala.

    This copy got worse by the love story of Ajay Devgan and Bipasha who is playing wife of Paresh (Villain).
    The whole movie might look good to those never exposed to cinema and reality. An utter disappointment. Though Akshay Khanna and Ajay Devgan did their best and they delivered very well together. Instead; I would recommend you to buy a DVD of Oscar winning Mississippi Burning than wasting your money to this flop copy.

    A total of NEGATIVE STARS.

    Thursday, October 7, 2010

    Indian Penal Code – Section 297

    Indian Penal Code – Section 297

    It was the summer of 2002; I got some money and bought a secondhand 2-Stroke Noisy bike, so noisy that you could literally leave your trail behind in sound and smoke. It was amazingly gold and stroked upon. This was the same year I started my fascination with speed and throttle. One of my senior Akhil Bhardwaj was a benchmark with his old rotten Rx-100; it was like a grandpa, old enough to rattle. His engine used to roar with a mere turn like that of a greasy finger.I must mention that even till date Akhil holds the record of the fastest ride in town on the same Yamaha Rx-100 (264 km in 3 hours 40 minutes!!!!) .Ohhh man those rides were orgasmic.

    It was almost the same year for another new fascination of what a first year engineering student fell for. The measures in milliliters’ and the -logy of dilution Vs Concentration was overwhelming. Looks like the whole of chemistry labs jargon were distributed across table, with our kidneys and intestine as the lab rats. It was the year with no fear. On one ‘wet’ summer day, Ritesh (Sir), Akhil and I somehow started our journey from medical hostel road. Now wait a sec, ---- Don’t get wrong ideas, we were part of engineering crowd, but somehow, Medical and Dental girls forced us to stay nearby them. The one reason was that they were pretty and the other obvious reason was engineering girls were not so pretty.

    There used to be numerous bikes parked by the hostel road, and there was one bike we were chatting upon. Suddenly we realized that the bike key was left in the key hole, Untouched. Ritesh brain was corrupt like hell and the fuse started glowing, throwing out ideas. We somehow were successful to half-steal the bike, then our consciences knocked us heavily and we stole some good 5 liters of petrol and left the bike back there. However, I was naughty enough to throw the Key as far as possible. Just the imagination of the frustrated owner upon his realization was making us wild.

    The petrol used to be a resource and the power. In those days, 10 re petrol used to be costly and dearer to us. Since we were holding 5 liter of petrol in a Pepsi bottler, we needed to do something quick. There were 2 old swift bikes with us.

    Ritesh: “let’s go somewhere; we have now liters of petrol.”
    Myself:” But where, it’s already 1:30 AM.”
    Akhil: “Yo man, let’s go!”
    Ritesh: “Shimoga, Om beach, I know a place called Paradise beach where we can sleep on the 
                   beach alongside some Israelis foreigner”.
    Myself: “Have you gone nuts, we just have 5 liters not 500 Liters and there are two bikes, so  
                   it’s like 2.5 liters each.”
    Also the mileage was awesome, it was somewhere around 25-30Kmph.
    Akhil: “Yo man, let’s go!”
    Ritesh: “Akhil, shut your English, - but then we cannot go anywhere, this place is dead.”
    Myself: “Anyplace, even a gutter will do, let’s go, think man think, I am still in my senses.”
    Ritesh:”can you drive?”
    Akhil: “Yo man, let’s go!”
    Myself:”At least I will not send you to the graveyard”
    Ritesh:”IDEA- I know a place- It’s a graveyard a real graveyard in Harihar. I ‘ve been there 
                  once, It’s quite secluded too, we can sit and enjoy till sunrise”
    Akhil: “Yo man, let’s go!”
    Ritesh:”Yo, let’s go!”
    Myself: “Yo man, let’s go!”

    Akhil went to his room to get his bike key and returned with an SLR camera and another Pepsi bottle filled with some golden color liquid. Camera looked too complex that I refused to admit its brilliance. We kicked start our bike and took the main college entrance to hit the Highway NH-4. Harihar was some odd 20 Kms away from Davangere (A small town without any café coffee day or Domino’s). Within an hour we were outside the iron gate of graveyard. We looked out for any silhouette and carefully parked our bike behind the trees. Police in those days were like angels of death and we were too lively to encounter them. Akhil and I were young enough to jump the first hurdle off the wall, While Ritesh entered through the opening of the main gate. The gate was massive and rusty and had a squeaking sound.

    This Christian cemetery was a rectangular secluded place. Peaceful and quiet, a perfect gateway for the night outs. It was away from all the liveliness. There was a factory at the back and towards the west of the graveyard. At regular intervals, some working sound was echoing in this wilderness from the factory. Soon our eyes got accustomed to the darkness and we started seeing things.


    There were graves and only graves in that graveyard. Some were cemented and big, while others were like muddy humps. But all were graves for sure. An eerry feeling ran through our spines, and we felt the urge of urinating. Pissing in that grassy, dark pitch was a challenge in itself, to watch your own back was even tougher with the eyes looking everywhere. Akhil took out his camera and positioned it on the highest grave to shoot the lonely tree amidst graveyard and the shiny moon. He tried some funny poses for all his 10 min shutter speeds. Ritesh and I were chatting about ghost stories, comfortably resting on the platform of one of the grave. Soon the fluid was gone from the Pepsi bottle and we had enough of ghostly talks, I was enjoying the moment there. This was the best night I can ever have.

    The night was shifting itself towards the horizon and the Sun was set to capture the sky. Light was slowly entering the graveyard and we felt darkness falling. It was now no longer safe to stay in the graveyard, we might get caught. Time to say goodbye to hundreds of mute occupants has arrived. All I wanted was, to take some memento in return. I saw a broken grave of Mr. Lawrence (1978-1999) and removed the wooden cross and carried it over to my room in Davangere. Akhil and Ritesh were smart and fearless enough to support me on that, though they called me crazy.

    The name engraved was just one word, Lawrence, in black over the white cross. The bottom part was slightly broken and rotten due to mud. It looked psychedelic when I hanged on my wall as wallpaper along with my Jeans. I used to stay with Pratyush/Prats and somehow he got scared of Lawrence. 

    The Cross was corroded towards the lower end due to constant contact with earth and its worms. It gave a raw and necrophilia look. It acted like a scare-crow for my friend Gunjan & Vishal. I got all kind of warning from them. Moreover, all the shots taken by Akhil and his SLR came out to be pitch- black. The other pictures on the film were completely ok when printed. Somehow Kunal Pansari- Another friend of mine, after years, confirmed that these happened due to low exposure and got them scanned. However, at that particular time, it simply added fuel to the burning fire.

    Soon after (within a Day and two), series of events startled all of my friends and I was forced to accept the conviction. Rohit sir’s (Our close senior who stayed next to us) pet rabbit died mysteriously and the other one went missing. Since this was the first incident nobody related it to Lawrence. The very same night Prats returned from his evening meal and found a dead cat just next to our door. Our room was situated on the third floor roof top. Somehow Ritesh and Me carried the carcass and threw next to the garbage pile. Panic stroked upon many. I was advised by my brave mates to discard “The Cross”. Somehow I managed to classify this all as rumor and called them cowards.

    However, within week my aquarium fishes started dying and I was left with none. With all the animals dying nearby us was like a knock of catastrophe and all ears were erect for any sense of distant danger. Prats and I met an accident on my bike; though it was the mistake of the bicycle fellow which crashed with my bike, It was enough for my Roomy to blew his top. We got some bruises and Tetanus shotsand later the Cross-shot.

    Somehow, I managed to pretend that Lawrence’s cross was no more in possession. Actually this was handed over to another believer of my clan – atheism; Gaurav Shankar. He kept the cross in his own room for the kick of some kinda orgasmic pattern.

    4-5 months later we disposed the cross, in the same garbage pile, where we threw the Cat’s body.
    Later, I went to graveyard twice with my other two friend’s gang.
    This time I didn’t touch any of the cross.










    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
    Some facts which I discovered years later:
    Section 297 of Indian Penal Code (IPC) entitled "Trespassing on burial places, etc", states as follows:
    Whoever, with the intention of wounding the feelings of any person, or of insulting the religion of any person, or with the knowledge that the feelings of any person are likely to be wounded, or that the religion of any person is likely to be insulted thereby, commits any trespass in any place of worship or on any place of sculpture, or any place set apart from the performance of funeral rites or as a depository for the remains of the dead, or offers any indignity to any human corpse, or causes disturbance to any persons assembled for the performance of funeral ceremonies, shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to one year, or with fine, or with both.”

    Sources:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

    Wednesday, October 6, 2010

    Khichdi- A Dose of Unlimited Thali

    खिचड़ी is not just a dish made of rice and daal, but this Khichdi has all the M for Garam Masalas, T for Lemons and B for Fried Onions'- Tadka maad ke !!!!!


    You will not only be served with Khichdi but the full unlimited thali. And you will get:

    • Ghee :as Witty lines are the USPs
    • Baingan ka Bharta:Jayshree
    • Enjoy Aaloo ka bharta (mashed potato with onions, green chilli and salt):Hansa
    • and crisp Papad : Tulsidas
    • get along with Pickles too: Praful
    • Then lick tomato chutney (blanched tomato, onion, green chilli): Lady Parminder
    • and finally Raita: Himanshu.

    The TV sitcom has come to silver screen, and a movie buff like me who never watches these sitcoms was all surprised. The laughter kept coming in small pockets from this super-characterization of Parekh families. The movie will not push you with the bullshit humor, but the consistent smile with the non consistent head shakes that will make you wonder about the silly and witty lines. The whole family is real stupid, down to the core. At least the khichdi is clean and hygienic, with no double meaning at all like our new generation of comedy. Yes the whole family can watch and enjoy this Gujju delicacy. 


    This is an answer to The Simpsons and his family of idiots, You cannot find better idiots than them. The screenplay is not idiotic but smart and rule the movie. Real dumb and dumber and dumberer. The camera and direction is simple and no special mention is required. The forced songs are useless but again spoofy, however the market song is better.
    All the actors are well justified and they are within the skin of their TV roles.


    One star for the screenplay and the courage of transforming small screen coms to silver screen. 

    Wednesday, September 29, 2010

    Are you guys Biologists?





    We two Photo-enthusiasts planned a photo run to Cubbon park situated in the middle of Bangalore. Our aim was to capture some candid shots of  "Morning People". My intention of not calling this as Photo-walk is mainly because we run to capture the most in a limited time frame, though patiently. But at this walk our run was halted by small ants.....

    We reached Cubbon Park early morning and took out our tools to shoot Nature and People and their connection. We reached near King Edwards IV statue and I found some Ants moving up and down against an electric pole. The Sun was in favor of us and I couldn't resist my temptations. Soon I was lashed with 75-300mm Lens and started shooting those little red ants. 

    These Fire Ants were moving rapidly up and down the pole as if they were stung by their own stings.

    I was not satisfied with my earlier shots and kept shooting with different angles. It was like a kingfisher waiting for the right fish to strike. After some half an hour, Gautam was tired and he gave up. However he got one good shot. It was a shot of Ants carrying one dead ant.





    I, However, stuck to my thirst and was busy experimenting some Macro shots at 300mm. Suddenly a family of three appeared besides us, thrilled to watch us with our burly cameras.The girl - child was holding her father's hand, when her mother asked us: - "Are you guys, Biologists?"

    and I said --"Hell No!".

    Friday, September 24, 2010

    Know about Eggs

    हम जब इंजीनियरिंग में  पढते थे , तब की ही बात है| चार दोस्त हुआ करते थे; बड़े, छोटे, मीडियम और क्योंच्हन  | हमनें मिल कर उसका नाम भाई ग्रुप रखा था | लम्बाईयों पर हमारा नाम रखा गया था, छाबरा सबसे छोटा था तो वो बन गया छोटे, मैं मीडियम और प्र्तयुष बन गया बड़े | बाद में आया कुक्कड़, चुइंकी वो प्रशं ज्यादा पूछता था , उसे हमने  क्योंच्हन बना दिया|  वैसे उसका असली नाम अंकित है, लेकिन शायद ही उसको कोई इस नाम से बुलाता होगा, नजदीक वालें तो बिलकुल नहीं|

    हम साथ कॉलेज तो कभी भी नहीं जाते थे, पर ठीक साढ़े बारह बजे दिन का खाना ज़रूर साथ करते थे | नीरू उस मेस का कर्ताधर्ता था, यूँ तो संध्या मेस नाम था, जहां हम सभी खाना खाते थे पर नीरू से बहुत ही लगाव होने के कारण हम सब उसे "नीरू मेस" बुलाते थे |  मजेदार आदमी था नीरू, हमारा अकाउंट उसके यहाँ चलता था बिना किस्सी तकलीफ़ के | मेस का मासिक खर्च कुल मिलकर कुछ ४०० रुपयें हुआ करते थे | फिर भी हम चारों का बिल हमेशा १२००/- से ज्यादा हुआ करता था | और उसका कारण था "छाबरा" | जी नहीं, हमारा दोस्त छाबरा नहीं, बल्कि its a delicacy |

    हुयां यूँ की कमल छाबरा हर रोज़ Egg Fry खाने के साथ आर्डर किया करते थे | हम लोग कहाँ पीछे रहने वाले थे | कुक्कड़ जैन होने के बावजूद मांसाहार का सेवन करता था | शायद संगत का असर होता है | खैर , हम चार लोग तो आर्डर भी चार प्रकार के | किस्सी को Double Egg Fry , तो किसी को Single Egg fry , या दो अंडे का  Double Egg Fry , या एक अंडे का  Double Egg Fry वगैरह वगैरह | पर अंडे सबको खाने थे वरना दक्षिणी भारत का खाना हमें कहाँ रास आता है | अंडे ने हमें हमेशा खाने के लिए प्रेरित किया | 
    हम अपना आर्डर हमेशा नीरू को ही देते थे, जल्दी के लिए | छाबरा का एक अंडे का Double  Fry fixed आर्डर हुआ करता था, क्यूंकि वो कुछ और खाता नहीं था | मैं नीरू को हमेशा बोलता था जो छाबरा ने आर्डर किया उसका double या single ले आओ | धीरे धीरे हम सभी DOUBLE CHHABRA या SINGLE CHHABRA बोलने लगे, विथ और विथआउट मसाला | च्यूंकि हमलोग Dude हुआ करते थे, तो देखादेखी हमारे बाकी के दोस्त लोग भी Double Egg Fry को छाबरा कह कर पुकारने लगे | 

    आज पुरे पाँच साल बाद भी अगर आप नीरू मेस जायेंगे तो बच्चे लोग आपको छाबरा आर्डर करते नज़र आयेंगे |
    हमारा छाबरा दावनगेरे में वर्ल्ड फेमस हो गया, वो भी एक अंडे के डिश के रूप में|

     Single "Double छाबरा"  with masala

    Single "Single छाबरा"  without masala


    Double "Single छाबरा"  without masala


    Double "Single छाबरा"  with masala


    Double "Double छाबरा"  without masala



    Confused--

    Chhabra is simply Fried Eggs, fried on both sides with the yolks broken until set or hard. It can "Over Well" or "Over Hard " where , yolk is cooked from both sides until solid. However It can also be "Over medium" with Yolk cooked from both side but still not so hard.

    While Single Chhabra is like Runny Yolk or "Sunny Side Up" or it is also termed as "Poached" or "Bull's Eye".


    अरे भाई अब जल्दी से एक Double "Double छाबरा" लेते आओ मेरे लिए, और हाँ कारा ज्यास्थी....