Ra-One is a big Bore

I want to tell Mr Shahrukh Khan a few things:-

1. A movie needs a script and a screenplay.
2. I guess lately you have watched a lot of Golmaal Kinda series, people don't expect cheap satire from you.
3. Jokes about penis(Main point) and Boobs are not for family viewing. They will hate you.
4. Your son in the movie should not look like a girl.
5. A robot cannot dance and sing and have dimples.
6. A child cannot dream like opening scene with lots of adult content.And When he hates his father how can he dream him as a hero.
7. Being cheap and funny are two separate things.
8. How was G-one introduced in real world? Can you please explain again?
9. I have not seen a south Indian eating noodles mix with curd. Although they love curd but they know how to eat Chinese.
10.Spending too much on promotion was waste. You could have hired a better director and a script writer.
11. Have you watched Anubhav's last movies?
12. Since you were cheap and low, you could done a little bit more for the hemline of Karina's white dress in the Criminal song.

13. Nobody has wasted Rajnikanth yet. He was useless here for your waste.
14. Stop watching other Superstar's movies.

15. Resign and behave!

Dont expect even half of Star.

Aarakshan- A failure

Let me make it clear, Aarakshan is not about reservation or caste feuds but its more about the existence of two coaching centers although based out of different ideologies. The circumstantial controversies were false and farce. Prakash Jha failed to raise the social issues like he did it before in Damul, Mrityudand, Gangajal or Apaharan . The title is misleading and the biggest disappointment. One may feel cheated , expecting the big battle of Indian caste system and reservation of SC/ST/OBC.

One may expect some great screenplay of both sides but the movie and Jha falters completely and is in lack of words when asked whose side the protagonist is? The film opens very poorly in an interview room where the questions are asked about the mother who is maid in a sarcastic way by so called high castes interviewer. It was so unreal that the mood was set to be not in sync with the director's view. The honor was lost with the dialogue of Tehzeeb.

Within the 10 minutes of beginning you were bombarded with two useless songs, defying the mood further. Jha was never good with songs earlier and still he is not. All the characters were introduced slowly without a clear explanation. There were some good exchange of words to arouse the heat but it all fell flat on the ground like a fallen ash. It explains that even a good topic can be worthless without the good narration and script. The Film looses plot of reservation and started churning the illogical fight between two coaching centers. Definitely the second plot was based of Anand's Super-30 which churns IITians from the poorest family of Bihar with 100% success rate. Even Prakash Jha inspired the name of lead protagonist as Prabhakar Anand , played by Amitabh Bachchan. But in real Mr Anand didn't face any competition from any commercial coaching institutes niether from any College nor politicians. The characters were not sketched clearly and lacked commitments.

Deepika Padukone was too unreal for city like Bhopal where she was seen moving around with a Dalit Saif, hand in hand wearing designer salwars.
Saif role was too short for any comment. His UK migration and abrupt end of his Phd was never explained. The mustache looked good on him. Praetik Babbar failed again with his way of mouthing dialogues. He has lost confidence and that shows that why he was not at all liked. Manoj Bajpayi was a caricature with a funny wig. The last 15 minutes of the movie, he literally lost it all. The strong character was turned into a caricature.
Amitabh Bachchan had nothing new to offer, he played the extension of his role from Mohabbatein. His wardrobe was changed with his voluntarily retirement in a drastic manner and his only saving was a house which was given on rent to provide a platform for this circus.

Overall movie has only few scenes which touched the right cord, when a lost daughter comes back to home and hugs her father saying sorry and confessing that she is hungry was brilliant coming out of jha's brilliant past.

The whole plot of STM college and KK coaching centre was so unreal as if only these two sources of education exists in a city like Bhopal. Where you will find and education minister playing all sort of smaller games. The audiences were hoping something big.

The film also lacks historical correctness and chronographical sequences. This issue based movie changed its issue amidst of the movie and became a thudddddd....

http://www.super30.org/Big-B.html

Shaitan's not enough Horns but Bunny Ears

When you saw credit and special thanks to Danny Boyle at the end credit of "DEVD" and "GULAL" you often wondered, how could Anurag Kashyap follow Danny Boyle. Nevertheless we have seen the gory Drugs and Killers in the banned PAANCH, which was a true story based out of Pune. This first movie of Anurag was what we all remember, Disturbing and too black. But when you bring Danny boyle's Trainspotting and a dash of Clockwork Orange which  you cannot turn it into a better cocktail but mess up like that of a bloody merry with all the wrong spices. And when you mix bullshit with blood you cannot get a Kubrik style clockwork, neither a thriller like Fincher. Even a copy of Anurag's nemesis RGV would have been much better for this Black yet Gray  roller coaster. 'Very Bad Things' and a used story about fail self-kidnapping midst Drugs and an accident like that of 'I know what you did last summer' doesn't keep you off the edge but drags you with its not so psychedelic camera movements. The slow and fast editing were not synchronized and orchestrated , which yield in a mild headache. and then you wished you too could use your own share of cocaine.

On the top of that you have a Cop Vs Cop feature which is far from the reality and a Von gogh Painting which can be bought by an Mumbai Inspector and pissing him through his divorce. The Dumb inspector wife was missing a screenplay, while whole movie was scattered by a missing screenplay. The dialogues were shared like a good Hindi speaking parsi and a NRI as like an Apple and an Orange. Both Sour. Music was loud and not a score.Slow song sequences of 'Khoya khoya chand' in a stairway chawl with a cop shooting drug handlers could not be a comparison of "Singing in the rain" nor the Tarantino's Pulp fiction. It was a complete waste of old classic and the  editing team of A. Sreekar Prasad. Bejoy Nambiar took the inspiration from Kashyap's previuos flick but couldnot follow in his footstep. The stakes were high and delivery was a short pitched Bollywood weekend masala. I missed the songs like that of Anurag's previous ventures.

However the casts were good enough especially Raj Kumar Yadav and Rajiv Khandelwal . Character of Dash and KC were badly written and badly performed by Shiv Pandit  and Gulshan Devaiya. Both were not crazy enough to justify KK's role in PAANCH.  Tanya was a misfit in this total trendy color frenzy flick. She mouthed the worst line too- "Hollywood, how many men have you slept with?" While Pavan Malhotra was good enough as a Police commissioner and has grown with his acting. Coming to Kalki , the muse and now the wife of Kashyap was in the delusion of her mother in a frantic way which killed the opening and end of this movie. The dead mother in the Bathtub with soapy bubbles was all about a bad hallucination. A reference uttered through the film by Amy - Kalki's character. Although she did some justice in some of the scenes but could not be a stealer. You can straight blame it to the direction and cinematography (Madhi ).

What  could have been a CULT was wasted by Nambiar.

imdb link
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1836912/usercomments-20

Not Ready !!

"Ready" is the proof that Bollywood can never go beyond starstruck audiences, loud and unnecessary irrational songs,  weak- ludicrous and farcical story , slapstick humor for Whistle-blower's rejoice,  pee-break and  ensemble casts.

Panda and Kung fu China Anthropomorphism

Anthropomorphism at its best.


This computer-animated action comedy film from the studio DreamWorks Animation is one movie on the likes of its other production, Shrek. Director Jennifer Yuh Nelson, is also the first woman to solely direct an animated feature from a major Hollywood studio. And the impression of a women is clearly seen. The Panda is made lovable like a kid with innocence splattered all over.
The screenplay is wonderful and gives some genuine laughter. The lines are small but witty and full of Humor. The animation lacks details like that of Ratatouille but in some scene where The Guru Red Panda is introduced with Inner Peace Practice is shown with extreme details and gives a good feeling. However The 3D version, like always, lacks depth of field and details. The blurred vision is extremely lively only in few scenes. The frame with Apples blurting out of Panda's big mouth is a true Rollercoaster. 

The story is about revenge and is unimpressive. The animation was the savior with the rightful dubbing and voice-acting. The voice of Jack Black along with Dustin Hoffman, Jackie Chan, Angelina Jolie, Ian McShane, Seth Rogen, Lucy Liu was perfectly scored and synchronized. Especially Jack Black timing were good. Ancient China was shown beautifully , but the selection of animals for Anthropomorphism was dubious. There was a peacock ruling Chinese lands and no use of Dogs and Ox. Other Animals from Chinese philosophy like Goose, Rabbit, Dragon and pigs were wise-fully used. The Mantis was shown powerful was another story untold. The use of explosives to cease Kung-fu was really childish. The enemy was not shown with equal Powers and therefore this one sided flick. The use of digital puppetry shows china in good light and keeping its tradition flawless.
The Movie is good and watchable with all age, there is no explicit dialogue  except a pinch of digital violence. 
Panda is lovable and cute and cuddly and tender.

Po: But, I just caught Kung Fu ! 
Shifu: And now, you must *save* it !

Kashmakash class-clash

When you have Rabindranath Tagore scripting a story for you and a director of stature like Rituparno Ghosh has it, there has to be a classic touch with it. Subhash Ghai roped in Gulzar to help Hindi audiences to narrate the Bengali story Noukadubi. This film was made in 70's both in Bengali and Hindi, while Dilip kumar played the protagonist in the previous make. Earlier Ghosh has taken Tagore's Choker Bali and painted in silver screen with   a grace. The national award winning director again got inspired from Tagore on the likes of Satyajit Ray and Guru Dutt.

The camera was superb in portraying rich india in 1920, where the story was set. Though it moved very slow but was able to capture the beauty in its best. The costumes were perfect especially the wedding sarees. The Art had a vintage touch through out the movie. Most of the movie was shot indoors with long shots. The camera moved slowly with poetry of Gulzar sahib. The story may not look feasible for those born in 2000 as there were  pair of husbands and wives who didn't see each other's face even days after their marriage, wife could not speak out their husband's name and the nobility was such that you really stand on your words. But we all know India was such in early 1900 in villages. The social norms were always male dominated. However like Guru dutt, Ghosh also portrays his female leads strongly, better than those times.

The actors played their best performances, esp the sen sisters. Raima sen did deliver her best with those cajoled eyes. She played a strong girl yet vulnerable. Her dad played by Dhritman Chatterjee was one of the matured character and Dhritman did the justice completely. So was the male protagonist Jissu, He held his expressions for the silence. He got very few lines and more screen presence. When you have a story like this, its a director's job to make sure e does a good casting. While Prosenjit  had a very few frames, but he did averagely.
When we talk about the lyrics, Gulzar was not at its best , but the poetic verses were very likable. The songs (Singers and music) could not do justice to the literary giant. The screenplay was good and gave a impact of early 20th century.
On the flip side, the movie dragged a bit. It was slow but definitely not tardy. The hindi dubbing spoiled the mood and the expressions a bit. The lip sync was not at all good, but I will appreciate the effort to bring this cinema for Hindi audiences A serious watch for mature audiences.

The Ragini B!tch MMS Project

This raunchy date movie has turned the table into a voyeuristic horror genre on the likes of 'Blair Witch project' and fixed camera angle of 'Paranormal Activity'. But, Defiantly its not inspired from both of its Hollywood counterpart. Only the technique and presentation style is inspired, and Ragini MMS has its own real story and Desi flavor. The debutant director Pawan Kripalani has done justice to the digital real film camera by  borrowing it  from the producers of Love, Sex and Dhoka Ekta Kapoor.While Ekta has proved that if you have a good story, you don't need A rated superstars. Actors and budding artiste can do the justice with a pure dedication. Dibankar Banerjee's casting from LSD has proved it once.

This spooky genre has not wasted time in explaining the story behind the haunted mansion or the love between the two quintessential Bombay lovers. The best is left for its sheer imagination and that's bang-on the target. Its creepy when your girl-friend is Pink Handcuffed, and you are about to unzip the down, you get a hair-pull so strong that your skull bleeds and you forget the hard-on and fall straight in to the paranormal world of frenzy bites and creepy voices.The senses are bound to loose. The most real shot was when you see a door open on its own you don't freeze in the demurral but run like a child screaming and shitting from the ass. That was hilariously spine chilling. The camera was loosing the resolution from time to time but the angles on which they were mounted gave a good Wide-Angle view of entire frame. By keeping the 3/4 frame empty, the viewer was forced to ignore the 1/3rd frame where intimate kisses were shared. Eyeballs were looking for something paranormal throughout. The twists and timings of Ram Gopal Varma's Bhoot were missing in this clip, nevertheless, it was a good attempt.
Both the actors Raj Kumar Yadav [again borrowed from LSD] and Kainaz Motivala were amazingly truly perfect. Raj almost doing the same cast from LSD , mouthed the frustration in a very natural way. The explicit dialogues were neatly written to show him as insensitive and chauvinist. While Kainaz ruled the second half of the movie with her screams and pleads. While Bappi Lahiri did a great remix of 'You are my Chicken Fry and Fish Fry'. The other songs were in background and competent enough to get mixed with a background score. The Score was scary enough to run a sense of fear was was repeated so badly that it became evident about a paranormal presence. The screenplay and cinematography did justice to the subjectiveness of a voyeurism.

A new benchmark is set in Indian Horror flicks.