Suckers 12 - Worst Movies of 2012

12.Jab Tak Hai Jaan - Its not hard to believe why a ShahRukh Khan movie is there in this list , leave alone the last movie of Yash Chopra. The story is such a sucker that you might want to put your head inside a live Bomb container. The leading ladies esp Kaif is such a plastic face that someone might want to go environment friendly. "Save Earth , Dont use Plastics"
SRK with beards Goshhhhh so ugly and untidy.

Even Gulzar and AR Rahman's deadly combo failed this time to save the movie. Badly written screenplays and badly directed movie, it barely beats Barfi! and Houseful2 to enter this list.

11.Bol Bachchan- Even you use the superstar's surname, and copy the Original Golmal, it will not save you from doomsday, even you use both the bachchans . Rohit shetty has an art of making Rs100Crores, he made that too.

But he doesnot have an art of film making. Ajay Devgn 's four movies in the list along with Abhishek's two movies, you will now not think twice about its credibility. The gay Bachchan topped with Krushna (such a piss) was such a sham on all the Bollywood fraternity.
EK DUM घटिया DIALOGUES FROM BOL BACHCHAN बोल बच्चन

Tujhe paakar meri chaati aur bhi chaudi ho gayi hai — My chest has become blouse.

Saale ko kutte ki maut maarunga — Brother-in-law will die Tommy’s death.

Jabh bade baat kar rahe ho, toh beech mein toka nai karte — When elders get cosy, youngers don’t put their nosy.

Bagal mein chora aur shehar mein dhindhora — Boy under armpit and hypercity noise pollution .

Aata Maajhi Satakli — Now my head gear has gone to the sides .

English is a very funny language — Naa pine hain, naa apple; phir bhi pineapple .

Tumhaare kaan baj rahe hain — Your eardrums are playing drums .

Main tumhe chhate ka doodh yaad dila dooonga — I will make you remember Milk No. 6

10.Kismat Love Paisa Dilli or KLPD is a bad remake of same director. Why Bad, because he used Mallika Sherawat and Vivek Oberoi instead of Abhay Deol in previous version of Ek chalis ki last local.

The movie is so high on male chauvinism and sexist remarks that you might want to kick Sanjay Khanduri's balls. Ashutosh Rana and his team were another set of jokers. It was indeed a KLPD for the producers. In short :-
KLPD = (Ek chalis ki last local)-(Abhay Deol)-(Story)+(The nonsense script)/ Same director

9.Players - Why would you watch a bad desi version of Italian job topped by industries biggest duds like Abhishek Bachhan, Bobby Deol and Sikander Kher. The movie was further ruined by long legs of insipid female cast of Sonam Kapoor and Bipasha Basu. I guess the starring was enough to make it the biggest dud. But you never know .

Abbas-Mastan the white Siamese twin like directors were definitely the ones who never played a game. Dont forget Omi doing the same skit of 3 idiots.

8.Son of Sardar - You need to watch this movie to learn one thing, just passing humor on Sardar will not make a great movie. Ajay Devgan again using slapstick comedy genre to please the audiences but we have heard all the jokes in our childhood.

Sanjay Dutt should retire now badly, he is no more suited to do comic roles. The initials is clear enough for someone to understand - S.O.S

7.Teri Meri Kahaani - He hehe eehe Kunal Kohli at his best. A bad history lesson by baddest actress Priyanka Chopra. She should fire her wardrobe consultant if she has any, same kind of dress irrespective of movie.

Then we have body double of  King Khan in cheap costume. A bad Korean rip-off. Thrice upon a bad luck.Whoever went to Teri Meri Kahani is a gullible person and definitely a Naive cine-goer.Teri Meri Kahaani is a COPY of Movie Three Times. Kunal Kohli has always been a CHOR as his creations are copy lifted. Be it Mujhse Dosti Karoge (The Truth About Cats and Dogs), Hum Tum (When Harry Met Sally), Fanaa (Eye of the Needle) or Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic (Mary Poppins, Nanny McPhee).

6.Ekk Deewana Tha - Javed Akhtar with such a bad screenplay and AR Rahman with such a novice music could not help the born to be dead movie.

Prateik Babbar is so bad actor that his linage looks doubtful. The director from Kerala making a movie in Hindi and sticking to his older original is another failed idea. He will test your threshold by showing ugly faces of Babbar and Miss Jackson. arrggghhhh.

5.Tezz - Priyadarshan is recently flanked by making bad copy of all good movies like Unstoppable. The story was so loose that a train could pass through its tunnel. Zayed Khan was more of a jumping jack while Anil kapoor hasnot come out of his slumdog days.

Ajay Devgan err Devgn needs a better director be it comedy or action thriller. Tezz was none of them. Even Priyadarshan's lucky mascot Mohanlal lost its pace with this slow (all you know) movie.

4.Khiladi786- Himesh Reshamiya and Akshay Kumar along with Asin is not a good combination. The Khiladi movies are known for thrillers however this one is a bad humor gone real bad.

Akshay Kumar is so high on wacky humor and over the top entertainers that he makes a joker out of himself. Did you get the joke?

3.Dangerous Ishhq- Vikram Bhatt can win an academy for the worst movies every year, and this one is the cherry. The so called comeback of Karishma Kapoor with bad model looking heroes who simply cannnot deliver an act. On top of it we have Bhatt's formula of Punarjanm and reincarnation and other ghostly elements.

A terrible film and the worst in Kapoor's filmi career. What a comeback.

2.Joker (2012 film) -It should have been the Number#1, but we still have the best left. Joker is Shirish Kunder or Kunder is Joker is a tough question. This movie is not the worst of all bollywood releases put together , but bigger than that. And you have a dancing alien and ensemble cast of Tees Maar Khan.

 Akki could do nothing better than showing his dental stacks while being a scientist from Nasa. Can you digest ? I know we all puked inside the movie hall.
 "Don’t fly my jokes.."

1. Aiyaa- When Anurag Kashyap is the producer you expect a bizarre  quirky movie but with the art in it. Well, he failed this time. Right from the name of the movie to the lead protagonist - Rani , it was her kind of comeback , where she did a sleazy smell sucking bitchy role.

The movie was so high of shit (read smelly) that you will close your nose and might dive to the nearest gutter for better airs. Save yourself.


~pic courtesy - wikipedia

आज गुलज़ार से मिला

आज गुलज़ार से मिला 

यकीं करना मुश्किल था 

अड्मायर ही करता रह गया 

नज़्म जो सुना मैंने 

होश संभालना मुश्किल था 

बस सुनता ही रह गया 

तालियाँ बजाना भूल गया था 

ऐसी ही थी कुछ ऊँचाई उनकी 

कुछ बोल पूछ न सका 

देखता ही रुक गया था 

उनकी आवाज़ की खुर्र्राहट 

ज़िन्दगी से रगड़ होती 

एक ताजगी सी थी 

हस्ताक्षर से बेहतर साक्षात्कार

की हकीकत में उलझा 

कौन सी कश्म्ह्कश में था 

सफ़ेद सईयारे में लिपटे 

उजाले से होते रु-ब-रु 

मैं एक नए मकाम में था 

-सौरभ राज शरण 

This website and its content is copyright of सौरभ राज शरण © 2012. 
कॉपीराइट © सौरभ राज शरण 
All Rights Reserved.

बारिश

मुसलाधार बारिश कल रात की 

सड़को पर खेलीं है आँख मिचौली 

कुछ गड्ढे भर गए हैं , जिसमें 

नीले आकाश की दिखाई देती प्रतिबिम्ब  

तुम्हारी याद दिलाती है मैली |

सोच कर रुक सा गया था, 

कुछ गिले धुंधले बादल छा गए 

फिर से गरज बरसने को तैयार |

इतने में एक गुजरती साईकल ने 

उमड़ने से पहले ही रौंद गया 

उस अक्स के ठीक बीचोबीच 

चीरता हुआ, क्षण्भंगुरी था मैं 

फिर से ज़मीन पर आ गया 

अपने कपड़ो को बचाते हुए,

संभल कर चलना होगा अब ।

उतावालें अंगड़ाईयां

सुबह उठने से पता चला सपने तो चल रहे थे ,

उतावालें अंगड़ाईयों से नींद ही टूट गयी थी |

तुम जो चले गए थे ज़िन्दगी ही रुक गयी थी,

छू कर महसूस किया  सांसें तो चल रही थी |

पुकारना तुझे ख़त्म न हुआ नाम तो बदल दिया था, 

दर्द फिर भी कम न हुआ खरोंचें कबकी भर गयी थी |

इस एहसास के धड़कन को दफ़न तो कर दिया था ,

कहीं दूर से फिर भी आवाज़ तो सुनाई दे रही थी |

पता आज भी वही है मुकाम सिर्फ बदले थे ,

चिट्ठियों के ढेर में भी कोई खबर न थी |

इंतज़ार अब ख़त्म हुई आँखें तो तरस चुकी थी ,

दीवानगी अब भी वही है मंजिलों ने हेरफेर की थी |

-सौरभ राज शरण 

This website and its content is copyright of सौरभ राज शरण © 2012. 
कॉपीराइट © सौरभ राज शरण 
All Rights Reserved.

दिन शुरू

सुबह का एक सपना 

चादर में लिपटा हुआ तंग 

बरसात की ठंडी हवा के झोंके से

किसे उठना है पसंद 

कमरे में पाया 

सूखे गीले पत्तें थे फैले 

बाहर देखा तो 

पुराने पेड़ थे उखड़ चले

रात की आंधी से 

बिखरे बेजान पड़े थे 

चिड़ियों के घोंसलों से 

गिरे हुए अंडे 

टूटे सपनो का ग़म 

भूल कर गोया 

काम को निकलने की होड़ 

मेरा दिन शुरू हुआ 

-सौरभ राज शरण 

This website and its content is copyright of सौरभ राज शरण © 2012. 
कॉपीराइट © सौरभ राज शरण 
All Rights Reserved.

माचिस

बारिश ने सुबह से 

सारे रास्ते भींगा रखे है 

कई दिनों से दिल 

भी तंग गलीयों से है 

आखिर मैंने पत्थर 

रख कर सोच लिया 

आज सारे रखे याद 

में आग लगा दूँ 

पता नहीं मौसम को 

मुझसे से क्यूँ है गिला 

माचिस की तीलियाँ 

भी सील चुकी है |

-सौरभ राज शरण 

This website and its content is copyright of सौरभ राज शरण © 2012. 

कॉपीराइट © सौरभ राज शरण 

All Rights Reserved.

MAKING OF IDOLS- DURGA PUJA 2012- II

Contd from first Part :- Click Here  MAKING OF IDOLS- DURGA PUJA 2012- I

Now after drying,

The entire process of creation of the idols (murti) from the collection of clay to the ornamentation is a holy process, supervised by rites and other rituals.

On Akshaya Tritiya, clay for the idols is collected from the banks of a river, preferably the Ganges. There is age-old custom of collecting a handful of soil (punya mati) from the nishiddho pallis of Calcutta, literally ‘forbidden territories’, where sex workers live, and adding it to the clay mixture which goes into the making of the Durga idol.

After the required rites, the clay is transported from which the idols are fashioned.

Painting is done to apply different types of colors according to the sculptural needs.



Idols are then decorated with bright colored cloths and jewelry.




Last touch is given by making Eyes. The artist gives life by painting eyes.

An important event is 'Chakkhu Daan', literally donation of the eyes. Starting with Devi Durga, the eyes of the idols are painted on Mahalaya or the first day of the Pujas. Before painting on the eyes, the artisans fast for a day and eat only vegetarian food. Great care is taken to do the head and eyes of the Goddess. As the artisans complete the idol, it looks as if life has been infused into the Goddess. (~wiki)

Then the fake Hairs are glued to give them a face.


Similarly the Demon is also decorated.

The Idol is almost ready for the Possession.

The Priest will come and do a small puja before they lift it and transport to the Durga Puja Celebration place. The Whole event is celebrated with Dhol and Baja (Drums and Trumpet). They will do the Arti and vermilion be smeared followed by Prasad Distribution.



The Face is veiled and revealed on beginning of Navaratri. All the weapons are then attached to the Durga Goddess and the Idol Making is complete..

Before and After
(The below set of pictures shows how simple clay is transformed into a beautiful Idol)






A finished idol is an exquisite piece of artistry. This is the Second of my story-boarding in a series of photo-features ... keep watching this space for Navaratri and Durga Puja celebration.

More pic:-

http://www.flickr.com/photos/saish746/sets/72157631662890909/ 

Student of the Year - Somewhere in Fantasy universe

I just want to ask one question to Karan Johar - Did you ever go to a real school ever , even while shooting ?

Because I have not seen school boys driving expensive cars at the vulnerable age of 17 years and wearing  designer dresses leave apart school dress.

I have never seen barring few sporting beard and sexy hairstyles. All the good especially top class schools be it Doon school, Mayo,Scindhia, Lawrence, Sherwood,Welham's, Mussourie International, Sacred Heart, DPS, DAV, St Pauls, anyone for that matter are disciplined and have a good fleet of teachers. Dean is a important body not a gay caricature and then there are other important teachers like Head of departments, Principal etc.

And no college is so clean leave alone the canteen.

St Teresa school never looked to me like a convent co-educational institution rather it looked like Air Crew training Institute.

There are not just one sports teacher/faculty in entire school of the stature shown in the movie.

The main contest looks so stupid that for winning STUDENT OF THE YEAR, You need to win a treasure hunt and Prom Dance. We are still in Indian schools and Prom events are not so out of fantasy. The Guys are all good or Rich. And all Rich people have broken families. Huh...

I cannot imagine a 17 year old girl in Bikini looking Hot and seducing a guy who is all muscle. When did boys of 17 years old use dumbbells to tone their muscles like Stallone. What age did you start shaving?

Do you ever know a student who prepares for a swimming/Running/Cycling competition by going into a gym and running on treadmill. 

I haven't even seen a uni-sexual competition . And lets not talk about such a competition its like banging your own head on a brick wall where dogs donot lift their legs to pee.

One thing is sure that  Karan Johar is definitely not the director of the year. Copying three vintage songs and utilizing the fruits is not always a good idea with 4 newcomers.

The only cool and hip thing was casting Alia Bhatt, She is cute , innocent, lovely and easy to eyes. Onlly thing that ruined is her character. 

I would have loved this movie if and only if there would be statuary disclaimer like :-  "This is a work of Fantasy fiction. Characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination and no way it can be related remotely to any resemblance to actual schools, events or locales or persons, living or dead.."

समय के ख़िलाफ़

समय के बोल के ख़िलाफ़ 

चुप रह कर मरोगे 

दुनिया दफ़न कर देगी |

आवाज़ उठाओगे 

तब भी दफ़न होगे ,

चीड़-फाड़ सुई-धागे के बाद |

-सौरभ राज शरण 

This website and its content is copyright of सौरभ राज शरण © 2012. 

कॉपीराइट © सौरभ राज शरण 

All Rights Reserved.

Pasta Italiano Recipe

इटालियन (Italian) खाने की बात अलग है | मेमसाब को बहुत ही शौक था | सोचा आज रेसिपी पढ़ कर रसोई में पाक कला का प्रदर्शन किया जाये | रसोईए और पड़ोसियों पर धाक जमेगी | 

आखिर छोटी शहरों में बातें , जंगलों की आग से भी तेज़ फैलती है | रसोइया भी छोटा मोटा नहीं था , बम्बई से वापस लौट कर आया था | लाखों की तरह यह भी हीरो बनने गया था , किस्मत ने साथ नहीं दिया | पेट के लिए जुहू चौपाटी पर चाइनीज़ ठेले पर नौकरी कर ली | अनिल कपूर और शाहरुख़ खान के साथ फोटो भी खिंचवा रखी थी , जब कुछ फिल्म-सितारें चौपाटी पर आते थे |खाना बनाने के साथ कुछ कहानियाँ भी बना रखी थी , डींगे हांकने के लिए अच्छे होते हैं | 

बम्बई से वापस आये हुए दस साल हो गए है इसे , पर दिन भर मेमसाब के बच्चों और गली मुहल्लों के लोगों के पुराने किस्से ले कर बैठे रहता है | लेकिन चाट और छोले अच्छे बनाता  है | बच्चों को चिकेन मंचूरियन अच्छा लगता है तो साहब को चिल्ली चिकेन |मसालेदार खाने में माहिर था यह  |

मेमसाब ने पास्ता (Pasta) बाज़ार से मंगवाया | सिर्फ पराग नोवेल्टी स्टोर पर ही मिलता है , उसने घर पर ही पहुंचा दिया | बोला - "पहली बार किसी ने ख़रीदा है , बाकी सब तो नूडल्स ही लेते है "| मैडम भी इतराते हुए कहा "अजी हमारी बात अलग है "|
रसोयिए को प्याज़ काटने के लिए बोला , ब्रोकली (Broccoli) तो मिली नहीं , सो मशरूम और शिमला मिर्च से काम चलाना पड़ा | रसोयिए ने उत्सुकता दिखाई - "मेमसाब , आज खाना आप बनायेंगी ?  मैं कुछ मदद करूँ क्या ? वैसे क्या बना रही है ?"

इतने प्रश्न , मेमसाब ने मुस्कुराते हुए कहा - "पास्ता , आता है तुम्हे "

उसने कहा - "एक बार जूही चावला को बना के खिलाया था , बहुत ही अच्छा लगा था उसको " सीना चौड़ा करते हुए कहा |

"चलो अच्छा है , फिर यह बताओ तुमने कौन से रेसिपी से बनायीं थी "

तपाक से बोला - "कौन सा चाहिए मेमसाब , मुझे सब आता है , पास्ता नोर्थ इंडियन स्टाइल में चाहिए या चाइनीज़ स्टाइल में , वैसे मैं मसाला पास्ता भी अच्छा बनाता हूँ "

मैडम ने कहा - "रहने दे , मुझे विदेशी इटालियन पास्ता ओरिजिनल बनाना है , बस देख चुपचाप , थोड़ी सी तेरे को भी दूंगी, चख लेना "|

MAKING OF IDOLS- DURGA PUJA 2012- I

Bangalore, September 30, 2012 with less than a month left for Durga Puja of 2012.

The biggest socio-religious festival of the Hindus, idol makers of Cox Town are working round the clock to create the beautiful images of the Goddess that would adorn the marquees and amaze the pandal hoppers.The first stage is to captures the making of the idol in their various stages for Bengali Association, Assaye Road, Bangalore.

Bengal Artist specializes in preserving the age old tradition of making clay idols especially during the festive occasion of Durga Puja.

Months before the Puja, these clay artisans start cutting the Bamboo sticks and making hays to bring the life out in the images of Durga. Bamboo sticks cut in various shapes and sizes are required to make the basic structure of the idols of Goddess Durga and other Gods. These are also used to make the platform on which these statues will be crafted.

 The Goddess figure is then shaped with straw and jute strings/hays along with nails. Bamboo Nails or Iron nails are added to hold all the structures together. This skeleton structure of the idol made of Bamboo and straw, are ready for master craftsmen to give them shapes using Clay mixed with hays.

Now they are left in open space to dry up. On a good sunny weather it might take 3-5 days to dry making it a lengthy and a back breaking process. I was surprised to know that the whole processes are evenly divided between experts. Experts of each group where one group is doing the cutting, other is creating the platform and so on. This diligent and methodical work by the experts gives us the picture perfect Idols.

Simultaneously, one group will apply the clay mix while other will cast the head, palms and feet. The Mould is created by plaster of Paris and by skilled artisans.
The Face is made of soil collected from Ganga Basin and brought down from Calcutta (Kolkata) to Bangalore. Rest of statue is made from local soil.  On drying, the mould is then separated from the clay head. This mould being hollow is then used to create innumerable clay heads for the idols of Goddess Durga and alike.


Similarly they have moulds of Hands,Feet and demon’s face, teeth etc.

The next stage of idol making is applying the layers of clay. To avoid any cracking of clay surface the solution is mixed with high percentage of water. Now the fine clay is applied for paint surface. Palms, Fingers, head and feet which are separately made are attached with the main torso at this stage.  Then they are carefully chiseling into a better shape.

The statues are now shifted to inside warehouse, there the cotton cloth layered with fine paste of clay are pasted to the visible areas before they are painted. The Cotton cloths never crack and good to hold paints. Hence these are applied on face, hands and neck areas.

Now after drying, ...............

...........................

contd... in part II.
Click here for second part:-
This is the first of my story-boarding in a seriesof photo-features ... keep watching this space...

Source~Wiki
More pic:-

http://www.flickr.com/photos/saish746/sets/72157631662890909/