Saturday, July 24, 2010

Only Salt

Only Salt, No Pepper, No Masala – Bland.

Salt is no Bond. And Angelina Jolie never said- “My name is Salt, Evelyn Salt”.

Jolie’s tasteless profile with skeleton hanging out of her skinny body needed just more than mere Salt.

Once the director of ‘The Bone Collector’ and ‘Clear and present Danger’ has lost his touch with Tom Clancy and took a dive with Ian Fleming.

This absurd action movie was all about a Spy (With no Meat and definitely no Underwear), Jumping from one truck to another truck to another truck without a broken bone, sweat or expression.
The Russian plot was taken from some old graveyard and then a sex-change operation was carried out to convert Tom cruise into Angelina Jolie. Plot had many holes, but when did action movies had.
When same Phillip Noyce (The Saint, Patriot Games) directed Jolie in ‘The Bone Collector’, I could not resist her lips and rounded chicks. The plot and the actors made you grab your chair till the end with all the turns and twists. but Salt’s vengeance was predictable.
A good blend of Jason Bourne, Ethan hunt and James bond need more than just Salt.

You will wonder how easy it looks to kill a Russian President and then Mr. President of United States.
You will again wonder where she carried all her Bazookas.
You will wonder how she passed the Whitehouse security wearing a bulletproof.
You will wonder when US secret agents used handcuffs whose hinges are connected with a long chain, long enough to hang someone till death.
You will wonder how sanitary pad can be used instead of Band-Aids.
You will wonder how a Spider’s poison can kill you only for 2 days.
You will wonder why you wasted your precious time.
You will wonder.

PS:It didn’t qualify for any Stars.

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